Are you trying to figure out your accomplishments?

Yesterday it was my one of the closest friend’s birthday and they were having a birthday bash at his house just like all the passed by years and I went there despite knowing that most of the people will be unknown but as he is too emotional about birthdays unlike me I had to go. After 2 am when everyone was drunk they started sharing how someone is doing great in his career, how someone is happily married and focused on earning more money or how someone is planning on his biggest venture, in that noise of people where each and every one was trying to prove his point and imposing how he/she is the wisest and mature person in the group, I was lost somewhere trying to figure out what accomplishments do I have to share.

I was the brightest kid in my higher secondary with my family pitching on me to be a most successful person some day and here I am after 10 years of higher secondary still trying to figure out my accomplishments. I just realised that we all had so many dreams on our first day of college like everybody else is going to carve out a path for you like you are some Moses but as years passed by we realise that somehow you are trying desperately to make your way out but there are so many other social and surrounding factors that no one educated us about the way this journey is going to be.

Each time I tried to make a decision seems each time I had a second opinion about my decision years later, each time I focussed on my future path I missed my parties that night, each time I decided to step out of my misery and enjoy the present moment I was left with a resentment for that moment the years later. Sometimes I wonder how people do it so easily figuring out the course of life and take long term decisions when I remained so juggled up trying to hold all the balls and dropping each one of them.

And at the same moment lost into the self-loathing thoughts I also realised how each person sitting there is completely indulged into the desires, attachments, self-admiration that no one even wants to listen to someone’s opinion like they have lived long enough with their opinion and has no space left for any other thought to come in and at that moment I realised that may be my biggest accomplishment is the experiences of my past that has made me a calm, wise and better person who now very well understands that someone approaching a situation in a way has got a whole secret of his past behind him which you know nothing about and it makes me an empathetic person which is my highest achievement. With an ability of identifying that virtue I smiled tenderly and walked towards a window gazing over the first light of dawn and welcoming more thoughtful experiences.

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