Thoughts from teaching

My number one takeaway from teaching and tutoring last year was that argument is not a dirty word, and we need to stop teaching students that we shouldn’t argue. We should argue more and about everything. By teaching that arguing is “bad,” we aren’t creating a more peaceful society. Instead, we are encouraging arguments without rules or boundaries. Society is becoming more like Twitter because of the polarity between “hot takes” and passivity created by downplaying the value of conflict.

When we engage in conflict, we are introduced to ideas that are different than our own. Conflict in our lives isn’t like a Marvel film. Not all conflicts are a man representing freedom punching fascists. Most of life is much more nuanced than that. Conflict is how the best ideas can be developed and spread throughout society. So, by encouraging conflict within a set of rules, we can create better dialogue. What are these rules? I’m not sure that I’m the person to be speaking on them, but I think I’ve figured out a few: 1. Avoid moralism, 2. Listen. 3. Do your Research

A huge factor in this is the pervasive moralism of our time. This argument doesn’t say that morals are wrong. No matter how we’ve come to accept that murder is wrong, I’m content with our moral stance as a society. Moralism, on the other hand, is something entirely different. It is an effective tool in neglecting reality to pursue our own worldviews, no matter how illogical. Too often, myself included, we allow conflict to devolve into either/or moralistic edicts. When we decide that anything that doesn’t fit our worldview is evil, we neglect to understand the full scope of many problems. No person can learn from not listening, just like no person can grow from not being heard by their peers. Not all ideas are equal, and most people are wrong about most things. If we allow moralism to close us into smaller and smaller boxes, we will learn nothing, and good ideas waiting to be molded by opposing views will die, never having seen the light of day.

The fact that we need to listen is an unfortunate reality of healthy conflict. Arguments can only create better paths forward if it is a dialogue and not a monologue. Twitter has created an avenue for screaming into the void. Sadly, the void will always answer back. Or worse, it won’t. In focusing conflict on affirmations, we avoid the back and forth required for healthy conflict. Listening requires an acknowledgment that someone may know something that you don’t and that (gasp) you may be wrong. It doesn’t, however, mean that you are wrong. Some people need to be listened to and engaged with because the conflict may create a new idea and a deeper understanding.

Healthy conflict requires research. Too much of the current conflict avoidance is based on “alternative facts.” If we can’t agree upon our definition of terms, no helpful conflict can occur. Another issue here is a lack of understanding of statistics. I am not innocent of this lack of understanding. Too often, statistics are cited in such a manner as to further the moralism of one perspective of another. When researching, don’t stop at what Fox News or CNN says that data shows; read the actual data. It would be an easier world if we could trust various outlets, but we can’t. Two news organizations could cite the same research, come to different conclusions, and both be wrong. This shortcoming will require a heavier burden upon people wanting to engage in conflict; however, the solution could be as simple as acknowledging a gap in our own knowledge and simultaneously acknowledging that a gap in the knowledge of others doesn’t make them ignorant or malicious. It is more conducive to healthy conflict to step back from an argument and research the topic before engaging than looking like a political pundit's Twitter feed that features the “FIRST” opinion on a topic.

“Argument” isn’t a dirty word. For it to be helpful, we must work harder to recognize our biases, acknowledge opposing views, and look things up for ourselves. We’re developing a society that is incapable of healthy conflict. I believe we are worse off for it.

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