Post Pandemic Dating

My biggest gripe with dating is that most men don’t put enough effort when planning the first date. If a woman agrees to go out with you, for the love of God, plan something. This is your opportunity to impress her and to stand out from the crowd. I keep seeing the same low effort that men make and I wonder if this is a result of Covid-19. Is this a new trend? Women (including myself) agreed to the “taking a walk” date because there weren’t a lot of options at the time. However, restrictions are lifted, and masks are off, so the dating standards need to adjust back to pre-pandemic times. It is time to enjoy culture and events that we were deprived of for so long. Why not do it with someone?

Screening a Date

Dating apps are here to stay. Many of us are not happy about this but we need to adjust with the times. Since dating can be expensive and time consuming, I don’t suggest you ask every person you talk to on a dating app on an in-person date. Use the features of the dating app to really screen your dates. The virtual feature should be utilized immediately to confirm the person at the minimum resembles their profile photos. Many of us have been catfished after investing precious time talking to someone only to learn that their profiles were built on fake photos and lies. Use the virtual date to alleviate any safety concerns as well. Most women have a certain level of fear associated with meeting strangers for the first time. I can only speak for myself but my imagination and two years of binging on murder mysteries has me wondering if you are a serial murderer or rapist. This is the time to tell us that you are a respectful, nice guy, not looking to kidnap and torture us and love kittens and puppies too. The goal here is to avoid asking to meet for coffee. That is just boring, Boring, BORING. It won’t motivate me to meet you at all. I rather sit at home with a face mask and binge on 90 Days Fiancé.

Traditional is Still Okay

After confirming you are talking to the actual person that is listed in the dating profile you should plan a real date. Going to a nice restaurant for a first date is a simple, solid plan. You should have a couple of restaurants within your budget to offer as a suggestion. Preferably somewhere that you have been to and personally liked. Or even a place that you always wanted to try out. Now your date may have some suggestions, and this is a great opportunity to learn more about your date. What foods they like or the type of restaurants they enjoy. You may ultimately wind up going to one of her suggestions but the fact that you took initiative reflects that you care. When you seem clueless it just comes off as the date not being important to you.

Get Creative.

If you are going out on several first dates that doesn’t lead to second dates (this may be a topic for another article), going out to restaurants can get expensive. Women are attracted to the effort a man makes not necessarily the amount of money that he spends on the first date. This is your opportunity to get creative and show her a little about yourself. Do you have a hobby that you can integrate on a date? If something is an important part of your life or something that you really enjoy doing, that enthusiasm will spill over and allow your date to see your unique gifts that make you special. If you are an artist, go to an art gallery or paint something together. If you like to surf, take her to your favorite surfing spot, watch other people surf and take her to the food truck by the beach that has the best fish tacos. There are so many possibilities: fishing, hiking, attending a lecture or book signing, taking her to a golf range and teaching her how to swing a club. You can even try something new together like taking a salsa class.

Research

Another option is to Google free things near you. If you live in a big metropolitan area like New York or Los Angeles, you will find an abundance of venues to take a prospective date. If you can afford to wine and dine your dates, please do so. I am in no way discouraging a man from putting all the stops to impress a woman. I am merely giving you alternative date suggestions. For example, I live in LA and when I googled free things near me, the first three things that came up were: 50 Free Things to Do in Los Angeles, 25 Best Free Things to Do in Los Angeles, 18 Free Things to Do in Los Angeles. This is when you do your research. Yes, you have to read and look up some of these places, check out the hours, parking, etc. I do this all the time when friends and family come to visit me and I learned that many museums and art galleries are closed Mondays, that due to Covid lockdown a lot of places implemented a reservation system (that they kept afterwards) or even though there might not be an entrance fee you might have to shell out some money for parking. Even if you aren’t into art or museums, I think a first date is better served in a public environment where you can talk and get to know each other. One of my favorite places in Los Angeles is Griffin Park that someone took me on a date. What are some of your favorite places? Maybe you love going to the Farmer’s Market on the weekend? Or the local zoo. Did you know that a lot of places offer a free day? It most likely will be a weekday but many people’s schedules are more flexible after Covid. Look up free concerts in local parks and have a picnic. You can suggest that your date brings something that she loves to eat, and you do the same. Or you can go to the supermarket together before heading to the park. Believe me, you will learn more about a person in the supermarket than at a 5-star restaurant. You can also check out Groupon and Evite. They usually always have discounted things to do that are great date ideas. Ask family and friends for ideas. Your mom, sister, rabbi may have an idea that you never considered. Your machismo best friend maybe sitting on a secret romantic gameplan that is popular with the ladies.

Execution

You did the research and have at least three viable date suggestions. She loved one of them and you set a date and time. Now it is time to execute the date. Check the weather and traffic conditions. If it is an outdoor event have an alternative plan. Are you meeting at the venue or going to pick her up? Look up the driving directions and allot yourself enough time so you don’t have to rush. I don’t think it is necessary to delve into hygiene and clothes. We are adults and should know how to be presentable and how to make a good first impression. Whatever you do, make sure to continue to communicate with her, especially on the day of the date. Don’t disappear that day because that very well may be the end before anything begins. If something comes up, let her know immediately and reschedule. Otherwise, she may categorize you as a flake and block you. Remember you are the man; it is your job to chase the woman. After you start dating, things change, and you won’t need to do all the planning. But the first date is critical.

Be Yourself

The worst dating advice is to play games. Just be yourself and be honest. If you are looking for a committed relationship or just something casual — communicate that at the very beginning. Dishonesty just causes needless headaches in the future. Whether you are an extrovert or an introvert, be true to yourself because the person you want to be with needs to accept the real you. No one can continue to put on a fake persona 24/7. You want her to fall in love with the real you not the fake you.

I hope these tips help. Please let me know or comment if you agree or disagree.

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