A Beaten and Burnt 6 Year Old or a Sexually Molested 6 Year Old?

I woke up to news of a six year old who had attempted suicide 3 times so far and had the most sorrowful stare. Her eyes and general demeanor looked and felt so sad. She lived with her very abusive mother in a village in Mukono District in Uganda. Apparently, the mother of this girl had separated from her husband and because this young girl resembled her dad, she became the obvious outlet of anger. Let us call her Angel. Angel had burn scars on her hands, on her fingers, on her legs, on her mouth and I guess on her other body parts that were hidden behind the school uniform she was wearing.

Her only available parent constantly beat her and told her that she should die because she was the cause of all her problems. Angel had a 4 year old sister who was also constantly told the same by their mother but was not physically abused as much — because she had survived resembling her dad. Angel attempted suicide thrice, by throwing herself in a pit latrine, throwing herself in a gutter during heavy rains, and cutting her wrists.

Because the child care protection system in Uganda is not so advanced and quite poorly funded, there is only so much that can be done for this young girl. Living in extreme poverty in a struggling economy is a curse that’s difficult to break. If you report to the police and the mother is taken, who is going to take care of the little children? Most likely their relatives are also overwhelmed with other children in conditions that are so grotesque that it is painful adding more “burden” upon them.

Towards the end of my day, I read about Venus on the Humans Of New York (@humansofny) page on Instagram. She grew up in a very abusive household with this terrible stepfather. But the worst part was that she was married for over 10 years to this “gorgeous, lovely, very convincing, handsome” man who not only emotionally abused her in front of her children but after 10 years of marriage, she found out that her husband Tripp had been sexually molesting his own children in their home. Tripp was such a sex addict that he had a string of prostitutes who started blackmailing him….but the worst part was that he also abused his own children. And poor Venus did not know! Imagine her pain and frustration when she found out! Because of a fairly good system, Tripp was jailed and Venus broke out of the cycle, supported her family and singlehandedly raised all six of her children all the way through private school and college! She’s now a happy grandmother and a very successful real estate agent in Augusta, USA.

What happened to all the children in these two scenarios is very unfortunate and very painful.

I could not help but relate these stories to the skewed business/social/investment climate in both countries. Because of the frustrated environment in the “developing country,” the struggle to get out of the cycle of poverty and frustration is 95% impossible and hopeless. It literally takes a miracle to break out. Access to good education and opportunities is very limited. Awareness and exposure to opportunities are a rarity especially for the majority who are poor. Whereas in the more “developed” country, the system is built to give the vast majority an opportunity to get out of some dire messes provided one can access an education. There is more exposure and awareness. If one plans to succeed, there is more access to resources that help that person succeed — especially the child.

Even I, who is quite well educated, well travelled and has built a well tried and tested engine of a business still struggles to thrive in this Ugandan economy. My regular trips abroad, especially my recent participation in the Sankalp Summit in Nairobi, Kenya have taught me 2 critical things for survival, breaking out and growth:

The stories of the children shared earlier have also given me a third thing to ponder on. You must have the desire to get out of the cycle to stand a chance of actually getting out of it. Ultimately, this is always the number one step to overcome and it is the hardest.

I love writing about the African social-economic experience while relating it to everyday experiences from which we can pick some lessons. To keep updated with my stories, remember to subscribe so that you get them as soon as I write them!

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