Pretense is good

Why do words only come in tears,
Like all the expired sadness,
Of weeks bygone,
Comes in renditions,
And leaves a stale taste in your mouth.
Why does this life reek of
Unburnt aspirations and agendas
Waiting at the bucket list
Never to be taken off their residence,
In a place where
“Follow your dreams”
Is a saying tattooed
on every person’s forehead.
But instead I say,
Don’t even try to follow your dreams,
For when you follow, you fall.
When you fall, you break apart
And breaking apart is something
Which we all fear,
God forbid, in a plain sight of people.

But when I spoke to someone
They said that hearts don’t break
They decompose,
And as long as it is true,
It gives me hope,
That someday, I will merge into the Earth
And form a being so complete,
That the pretense I did yesterday,
Would just flow away with the water beneath,
And I will be a whole person again.

The last time I felt so dead
Was probably never,
I thought the same thing yesterday,
And the day before and the day before that too.
But everyday it worsens,
But I don’t let them get to me!
I laugh at their pointless sentences,
Framed to irk the last of humanity in me,
And the ways to kiss them goodbye
Flash before my eyes,
And the sadness that lurked,
Turns into remorse
That the mere thought of killing
Even struck me!
But I laugh! Oh, I laugh!
And my place in this world,
Fixed again, as uselesss as the
Exclamation at the end of this sentence!

Pretense is good.
Go on dear, that will help.
And cry your heart out
In the company of your words
Because all that you get in this world
Are a few broken words
And a faint shattered heart.

Pretense is good,
To look into their eyes and say
That you love them,
And their tiny little problems
And their tiny little worlds
actually do matter to you.
So sadness, keep me ahoy,
Because we have a long ride to go,
Before the final sinking happens
And the world before me
Is obliterated in fumes.

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