5 New Things We Are Looking for in a President

Because circumstances keep changing on us…

A. Someone under 80, who thinks he or she is in their late 60’s and can do a single push-up to prove it.

B. An effeminate man. (This way we don’t have to elect a woman. Ever.)

C. A Democrat who is too lazy to change things or a Republican who is confused on what to change.

D. A professional liar who can occasionally delight and fool us.

E. Someone who has the ability to pretend to be listening to others.

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